Featured Funny: Dick Masterson


Here’s a Featured Funny for your ASS….mann, its funny, but not in the kind of way that you’d think. Finding out about this reassures for me the fact that no matter what kind of person you think doesn’t exist, could never exist, would be too crazy to exist…that mafucka EXISTS…

First off, ladies…put your guards up, you are about to witness some of the most sexist shit you’ve seen all day (cuz I know ya’ll see sexist shit everyday, thats just life) today’s Featured Funny is about a guy named Dick Masterson…I dunno if it’s real name, probably isn’t…if it is then he was doomed from the start…I’ll let the plump young lady below explain him to you a bit…

For those of you that didn’t watch the above video, Dick Masterson is a professional chauvinist that attempts to train men in the “Art of Chauvinism” through his books…yes the “Art of Chauvinism”, it appears that everything has an art…hell, I even found an art to breathing website

Dick Masterson’s website is MenAreBetterThanWomen.com , what a title..the website is funny as hell in the wrongest way…here’s a sample of what you can find

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

The guy us fuckin retarded….

….and not ina good way…

I know many women out there are going to miss out on the hilarity of it, but for those women that understand that this nigger is SO absurd that getting mad over his madness is just wasting your angry energy, ESPECIALLY when it’s more fun to laugh at dude, because you see that some of the shit that flushes out of his mouth is priceless absurdity…why do black people laugh at Archie Bunker? Because the fact that he’s 100% serious about the nonsense he utters…

….or maybe I’m just high…

Nah fareal, here’s an introduction to Dick Masterson:

The following is the episode that Dick Masterson was on Dr. Phil, yah THE Dr. “I banged Oprah and got famous” Phil debuted this guy to the world…

They’re prolly buddies in real life, I wouldn’t be surprised if under that dull, Bob Newhart pedophile looking exterior that Dr. Phil was definitely a super human pimp master…

hell, he pimped Oprah afterall, and she is the Queen amongst “the hoes”..

But alas, even Dr. Phil couldn’t take dude seriously…which angered the lil man

I do commend Dick Masterson (the reason I always say dude’s full name is because I think he gets a laugh at people saying his name for obvious reasons) for being honest and fully committed…homie may have a small penis, but his balls have got to be the largest in the world….and seeing as he’s also getting paid for this shit, I can’t hate ona man making his living..

..his living…

Men and Women will never understand each other, which makes us all sexist in some way…you have to have just the right amount of flaws to be normal, which is why some guys (including me) will agree with some of the ridiculousness that churns from that thinking organ in his skull…

And women, aside from the woman, Shirley, that was on there hated men, and this lady hates ugly people….and its kinda funny too, i ain’t gon lie…(after you get pass the priest from the Davinci Code in the beginning)

Back on track, if this guy is in ANY WAY serious…he’s got to be a complete psycho…just not one of those violent psychos…you don’t have to be a killer to be crazy….I say dude is either gay in denial…or was seriously touched when he was younger…

…if not, then maybe he’s a genius and we don’t get it just yet….

Ignorance is bliss I guess…

I’m sorry, that nigga is a nutcase…but he just got her (BURN!) that one was funny, LOL…

-BATS-

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About mBATS

http://www.twitter.com/MisterBats

Posted on August 4, 2008, in Featured Funny and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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