GOTHAM NEWS: Amy Winehouse’s trash is Alicia Keys’ treasure

The last James Bond movie was a beast, Daniel Craig successfully turned Bond from a smooth pretty boy type cat that used women as condiments…into a rough type nigga that used women as condiments and kicked ass as well…the roughest James Bond since Sean Connery

Sean Connery use to be THAT DUDE…sorry Pierce, you were cool…but we all knew that if we really wanted to, we could kick ur ass…

Singing the opening theme for the James Bond films has become a sort of presitgious look for artists in the past few years. Legends like Madonna and Paul McCartney have both gotten their 007 poppin, and now it’s time for a legend in the making to do her thing, it’s Grammy Award winning artist, America’s Favorite Crackhead (next to Tyrone) Amy Winehouse’s turn up to bat!

What’s that?

Amy can’t make it?

ooh…too busy smoking crack? Damn, fareal? Crack? not even the supposed “good shit” cocaine? Looks like Ms. Winehouse needs to holla at Whitney ASAPTUALLY…..

Well, where Amy Winehouse dropped the ball, America’s Favorite D.A.R.E Program graduate, Alicia Keys is gonna pick it up and run with it all the way to the “James Bond always makes money in the box office so I’ma win another GRAMMy” BANK…along with Jack Black’s superhero magician arch nemesis Jack White (of the White Stripes) …

Damn, he looks like he touches boys in that pic…like he’s about to say “Trick or Treat”…

Another Way To Die” (what a name) is the name of the song, and it is the FIRST duet in James Bond movie history…

Good shit Ms. Keys…

…oh and you too Jack White (he’s gonna have to get use to that)

I love it when artists from different genres come together and make magic, and with two people as unique and different as Jack White and Alicia Keysthings should be really interesting and the video should be a banana split…yes, that’s a good thing

…and yyyyeah I think Amy Whinehouse would’ve made a monster of a song too, but she’s too busy chasing monsters in the mirror i guess

Don’t worry about Amy Whinehouse…I hear her father, Mitch Winehouse, is getting a radio show of his own to host…yup, Daddy’s gotta eat too, seeing as he’s constantly in the public eye needing to tell the world that his daughter isn’t crazy, just confused….very confused….

Maybe the two of em can get a reality show together like I Love New York, the pops can be like Sister Patterson, and Amy can choose which crack head loving freak she’d rather marry, Flav attracted alotta strippers, so I guess Amy’s show will have alotta fellow crackheads, aspiring actors, pimps…and very rich and etasblished black men…(STEREOTYPE ALERT) because rich black men just love them some crackhead white women…

They can call the show…JEOPARDY….

….yup, Jeopardy…and Dennis Rodman should win it…I mean who else would be worthy?

Of course he’d have to dump her and go on to have his own reality love show, but his would be like Tila Tequila’s where he has men AND women all fighting for the heart of the D-Rod…Personally, I wouldn’t watch it, but with all of the bullshit that’s currently infesting our idiots boxes, I don’t see how Amy & D-Rod’s shows would be out of place, VH1 would eat em up and play them back to back all day everyday just like they do every thing else…

And honestly, I wouldn’t even want those shows on VH1, too crowded…I’d highly recommend putting both shows on the Discovery Channel…

All jokes aside, I hope Amy can get herself together because that last album BANGED, so I can only imagine what kind of music she can produce w/o the ROC (no offense to Jay-Z cuz he ripped hat Rehab remix)

And speaking of BANGING…

(trying SO hard not to think nasty thoughts here)



About mBATS

Posted on August 6, 2008, in GOTHAM NEWS and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. too bad, Winehouse would have done a great James Bond theme

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