GOTHAM NEWS: Biker spills cash on highway (what do you think happened?)

As soon as man puts value in anything, the power it possesses usually leads to death, that’s life…

I remember, not too long ago a friend of mine (I think it was Mike 5ive) was pissed off because he had just seen on the news that this big bank truck full of money toppled over and assloads of cash was up for grabs on a street that he and his brother had just left 5 whole minutes earlier…5 whoooole minutes! That’s what we New Orleanians call “That Drove” (don’t ask “that drove what?)….

Of course I laughed at him, but in my mind all I could do was imagine if I had been out there 5 minutes on time because, just like these people I’m reporting on in Monteray Park, California, I would’ve had my ass out there making bank!

But Bats, that’s stealing!

I say if Uncle Sam wants to make it rain, then I’m all for using my wallet as an umbrella….(TAKE THAT FIFCA!)we can call it it a ‘Supplemental Recessional Thunder Storm’ and my pockets can be FEMA….hell, isn’t that what FEMA is for anyway? Ripping niggas off?

: ….

…that wasn’t a rhetorical question…


…guess we’ll say the levees of that subject broke and move onto the news…

This biker guy was minding his own biker business riding on Cali’s I-10, when his biker computer bag ripped open and all of his biker bucks went bungee jumping with no rope into the arms of the open highway.

…what did his fellow drivers do?

Of course, they all jumped out of their cars, which were going at about 65 MPH a piece, and risked their lives to rescue the dead presidents….

…Is anybody surprised? Unemployment is up, we are in a Recession and Gas prices are looking like they’re going to end up looking like social security numbers soon (See: Niggas is broke!)

Everybody sped off leaving Road Runner style clouds dust as soon as the highway patrol showed up. There were no injuries, no arrests and nobody had any idea of how much money was in the bag….

poor, poor biker man…looks like he just got…

No word on who he was or how he feels, It seems as if he just sped off, leaving his money to fly to the masses without a fight…I mean, what else was he suppose to do?

…No, really, that’s not rhetorical either….what else was he suppose to do?….

And don’t claim that you would’ve done some theatrical, Will Smith verses Chuck Norris style bike turn around into oncoming traffic at 65 MPH type madness, just to fight for the valued green paper because (like tampons) I ain’t buying that shit…

“For the love of money
People will steal from their mother
For the love of money
People will rob their own brother
For the love of money
People can’t even walk the street
Because they never know who in the world they’re gonna beat
For that lean, mean, mean green
Almighty dollar, money

For the love of money
People will lie, Lord, they will cheat
For the love of money
People don’t care who they hurt or beat
For the love of money”–The Ojays

….Ok Ojays…you’ve got a point…

:You damn right, they do



About mBATS

Posted on August 11, 2008, in GOTHAM NEWS and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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