GOTHAM NEWS: Man eaten while trying to get blessings from crocodile…

Religion is the touchiest subject that can come up in any conversation when people are really honest.  I say ‘when people are really honest’, because most people don’t say what’s truly on their mind’s regarding the subject, even the most like minded people hide certain thoughts and feelings regarding their faith for fear of being looked at as a traitor.

You tell a Muslim that Jesus would whoop Muhammad’s ass and that confessions to a baby touching priest is the only way to Heaven and he’s going to throw a porkchop at you…

You tell a “devout” Christian that you have doubts about whether everything in the Bible is true and he’s going to go apeshit and try to prove to you that everything is indeed straight from the mouth of God through the hand of man…his reference?…the very same Bible that you’re questioning of course…

The debates rage on and on and will rage on and on up until we’re all dead and possibly ultimately let down when we’re all reincarnated…and if I’m reincarnated…the first thing I’m doing in my life as a bug, is doing a buzz by to the ears of every know it all Christian and Muslim that I know before drinking a bottle of raid to see what bugs get reincarnated into….

I say this to say that in this next news story we cannot call this man, Rubel Sheikh, an idiot for swimming in a pond with a killer alligator with the belief that the mafucka would bless him with anything other than a new home in his tummy…

“He went into the pond hoping to be blessed when a crocodile attacked him and dragged him into the deep part of the pond, This is a very unusual incident. Normally, the crocodiles are very friendly and do not harm people.”—-Inspector Humayaun Kabir

I guess we’ll just have to take his word for it, eh, Devin?

“About 25 people dove into the pond to try and rescue Sheikh, but could not find his body. It washed ashore Thursday and had been largely eaten” Kabir

Who am I to shit on this man’s religion and beliefs, maybe it was just his time to go and his god figured that the alligator approach would be fitting and poetic? The only other option would probably have to be….

…and nobody wants that…

sounds like it’s not just the Christian “Lord” that works in mysterious ways…I think it’s a conspiracy though, a year after the crocodile hunter dies, we got gators running wild ripping kids arms off and chewing up muslims…the gators want a new challenge, they’re searching for the chosen one…the next crocodile hunter…and I think I’ve found him…

dah well….guess there can only be one crocodile ass kicking, scared of nothing, snake raping Steve Irwin,

maybe he can come back reincarnated as a crocodile and start killing off other alligators…like a super gator machine…


…would that be racist though? A croc hunting alligators….prolly

dah well, R.I.P Rubel Sheikh

Oh..Quick sidebar question….do ya’ll think common sense can be reincarnated???

…I’m serious…



About mBATS

Posted on August 24, 2008, in GOTHAM NEWS and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. The shit people do now is ridiculous and just plain stupid. There’s no way I would try to receive a blessing from a fucking dangerous reptile. I wouldn’t have got in the water, I wouldn’t even think i could get a blessing from a gator, and swimming to the gator is not an option at all. Sorry, i would of just went without my blessing that day.

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