GOTHAM NEWS: Man arrested for demanding 30 bucks in exchange for stolen phone…

I remember when I was younger hearing of this story about this girl, Autumn Jackson, trying to hustle, wait…gotta use the super official word…’EXTORT’…40 Million dollars from Bill “MyGenerationIsBest” Cosby by claiming to be his daughter out of wedlock.  Yeah, theCo$bo was playing Pin My Tail On Her Donkey while married, admitting to having sex with Autumn Jackson’s mother, but refusing to believe that he could be the father. According to Cosby, he only slept with the girl’s mother ONCE…which should’ve been even more disrespectful because that is slick side saying Autumn’s Mom was providing shelter for WACKNESS in her panties….

Either way, she came at Dr. Jello threatening to go to the tabloids with her story if he didn’t cough, sneeze and vomit up every penny she asked for. The reason I remember it because I recall being in the barbershop and the old heads in there just couldn’t fathom why she would want so much money. It was funny because nobody believed Cosby’s claims that the girl wasn’t his child, they just couldn’t get over the fact that she wanted 40 Million dollars, which I can see their POV, I mean damn, $5-10 million would’ve been more than enough let alone 40…shiit, I would’ve taken $1 million, a lifetime supply of Jello Pudding Pops and Rudy’s phone number and would’ve been happy enough…

…sorry Raven, you fell off to me…nice bank account though…

Ok..I’ll be fair, thickness can get it too…

Anyway, this is the case where I first heard the term “extortion” used (from then on it was mainly in rap songs and mob movies), whether she was his daughter or not, threatening that man’s reputation for monetary gain is illegal and she…as well as the tabloid pushing her up to do it…faced time and fines for it. Cosby got to grow old with all of his money, so old and rich that his nose began to stick up in the air as he lectures to little boys about going to hell for sagging their pants and liking pokemon  rather than teaching them how to specifically make as much money as them before the age of 30…I know he knows..

Well this is the second time in life that I’m hearing the term extortion used outside of rap songs and mob stories and who knew that it’d be used in such an ungangster way…

A 38-year-old man has been charged with extortion for allegedly demanding that a stranger pay him $30 in exchange for their lost cell phone.–CBS NEWS

Who remembers Ghost Dad?

That movie where the Dad dies some kinda way, his ghost loses his dead body without knowing it, comes home and realizes he’s a ghost, but his kids can see him and their bond becomes tighter…because he died, I think…Hmm..was that some subliminal message to get parents to Patrick Swayzee themselves in order for their kids to appreciate them? 

Yeah, and it just so happened to also star Bill Cosby (method to the madness maybe?). That movie and Bill Murray’s Scrooged use to come on USA so much that I don’t know if I really liked those movies or was programmed to, but either way I’ve seen em both enough times to quote. Well not Ghost Dad as much as Scrooge, but lets pretend like I did in order to get the my point. For anyone that’s seen Ghost Dad there’s this part where he goes through the phone to get at a would-be boytoy of his daughter’s….For those that didn’t see it, here it is:

If a mafucka tried to scam me out of 30 bucks for my phone, especially this near $500 daddy that I’m currently using as a txt bazooka at the moment, I have full faith in myself that I could pull that move off and anally molest the would be “extorter” with my foot….while rocking this mafucka right here…

How did they catch the guy? Did they set him up using top notch technology to track the phone? Was he going to have them drop the money (all 30 bucks of it) off at a secure checkpoint which lead to the perpetrator being caught days later? Was he ratted out? Nope…

“Authorities said the unidentified victim flagged down an Iowa City police officer Sunday on their way to meet the man to retrieve the phone.”—

Yeah you read that right, these people were actually going to pay up the 30 bucks to this clown if they didn’t just so happen to see a cop on their way to the checkpoint, and yes the dude was an idiot for actually being there. If anything, I wouldn’t have gotten any porkys involved at all…knowing that he’d be stupid enough to be there (NOT STRAPPED) I would’ve shown up with a buncha Deebo type {gentleman}…or better yet…who has the mob’s number…yup, we should take it there..why? Because this is one of the stupidest reasons I’ve ever had to report or read about for someone getting arrested…this is a waste of jail space…so he should get it to the extreme… 

…no…more extreme….

….yup…that works….

…o…not that I’m endorsing violence, I would never do that….

The victim told police they’d had 10 to 12 conversations with the suspect about returning the phone, but that he was demanding payment.—

And how do you make it up to 12 conversations with somebody that has your phone hostage and cooperate for that long. See, the Deebo Gang would’ve definitely been on speed dial, but real talk before that idea would’ve even popped up after conversation number two of this guy trying to con me out of pizza money I’d either be flipping out to the point of sending Goodfellahs style threats or I’m thinking “fuck the phone, I’ve got insurance”..not make an EHarmony style connection with em…I mean damn does it really take 12 convos to come to the conclusion of either, giving em a beating, hitting up the cops or calling Asurion?

But since the insurance folk over at Asurion make you pay a $50.00 deductable when you use insurance to replace your phone, I guess the PhoneThug figured he could talk the owners of the phone to save $20.00 bucks by doing it his way, afterall he did have the better rate, plus he’d get the phone to them quicker…

….yeah, well even if we take that into account, there’s no denying the obvious idiocy leaking from the “scam”…The guy is trying to get this “victim” for 30 bucks.  30 bucks? That’s your grand master plan? That’s like kidnapping one of Angelina Jolie’s kids and setting the ransom at 10 bucks, an eggroll and a Dylan CD….

What is he trying to do, secure his second payment of the Total Gym before Chuck Norris and Wesley Snipes jump his ass? Make laundry? Take his chick to Golden Corral? I mean damn is 30 bucks really worth going to jail for?


ilovecats….30 bucks

30short.30 Bucks

The man was charged Monday with extortion, a Class D felony. He could face up to five years in jail and a $7,500 fine—

yep…you guessed it…this poor excuse for a criminal has officially made JailAssRape worth the same price as a pair of goofy swim trunks and a “I Love Cats” subscription…who woulda thought…

…I don’t know why assrape is so cheap now Kobe…blame the recession…

Oh and shouts out to the Ghost Busters! (for no particular reason)



About mBATS

Posted on May 29, 2009, in GOTHAM NEWS and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Thanks for the interesting news. Very beautiful photos. Learned a lot new to subscribe to your news. I would wait for new articles. Good luck.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: