GOTHAM NEWS: Woman firebombs BFF’s house over Facebook unfriending!

They say keep your friends close, but your enemies closer…now I’ve got to know does the ‘keep the friends close’ part also mean keep your psycho friends close? or are they suppose to be kept closer because of enemy type tendencies? The closer you keep them the more likely it is that they will murder you then cry real tears at your funeral, that’s what friends are for right?

In my lil series on relationships and the male mind I talk about a few negative effects social media is having on our society. One of the most startling of these effects is how it’s changed the complexion of our relationships.  Through FB and Twitter we are allowed to legally stalk each other and  people in relationships will live and die by what’s in their significant others inbox, public status and relationship status.  People aren’t even sure if they’ve broken up for real (this time) until one of them cancels their relationship status on Facebook. Even divorce stats are rising due to people not being able to control themselves on FB and Twitter.

American lawyers now demanding to see their clients’ Facebook pages as a matter of course before the start of proceedings.

“We’re coming across it more and more. One spouse connects online with someone they knew from school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook,” said Dr Steven Kimmons, a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor atLoyola University Medical Centre near Chicago.

Yet while the US media has been quick to trumpet any evidence of Facebook as the country’s leading marriage-wrecker, the truth is “It’s complicated,” as the site’s relationship status would have it.

2010 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that four out of five lawyers reported an increasing number of divorce cases citing evidence derived from social networking sites in the past five years, with Facebook being the market leader.

Two-thirds of the lawyers surveyed said that Facebook was the “primary source” of evidence in divorce proceedings, while MySpace with 15% and Twitter with 5% lagged far behind.–The Guardian

Our grandparents have to be happy they dodged that bullet, because you know the old school folk come from a generation where no matter how much cheating went down, you ‘stick it out’ ….To them, divorce meant you were going to hell and of course whose bout going to hell just because your husband couldn’t keep his ‘Richard’ in check.

Twitter has people OBSESSED with getting their followers count up (Follow me @MisterBats !) all in attempts to gain attention and feel important. I mean damn, wouldn’t it suck to only have like 20 people half paying attention to your meaningless, yet mildly entertaining, Twitter rants?

Though you f**kers who spend all day everyday advertising for followers seem desperate straight up.

EXAMPLE: “Hey to all of my followers, just because I know you love you some me and will do whatever I tweet because I tweeted it and you retweeted me that one time the other day, go ahead and follow my ni&&A @TweetMyMeat …the first 8 people to follow @TweetMyMeat will gain me as a follower and I will tell all 14 of my other followers to follow you too…let me retweet every single thing they say to prove to you that following them will improve your existence …I’m watchin..”  #SmhNation

Shouts out to @TweetMyMeat if that’s a real tweeter out there….I know it probably is.

I think this story about Jennifer Harris and the Rasmussens takes the cake, the pie, the ice cream and candles though…and it’d take a LOT of candles to make this one seem like a party…#zing

“Authorities in Iowa say a 30-year-old woman attempted to burn down a couple’s house last week in retaliation for being unfriended Facebook.

Jennifer Christine Harris, of Des Moines, is being held in Polk County Prison on $100,000 bond after she allegedly set fire to Jim and Nikki Rasmussen’s garage, forcing the couple to flee their home in the middle of the night”—The Des Moines Register       

Over Facebook bruh?

So, because your homie got tired of you b!tching about a party that no one was going to and unfriended you out of anger, your retaliation is the blow up her house?

“Jen asked Nikki to create an event on Facebook for a party. Nikki did that,” Kamerick told the Register. “As the date for the party approached there were a lot of ‘declines,’ on Facebook. It was looking like the party might be a bust. The dispute apparently blossomed.”—Detective Jack Kamerick

Now, ok…it’s effed up that your friend left you hanging on your wack party after people basically deemed it lame. But why not just accept that your party was looking lame, hell,I wish I could unfriend damn near everybody that ever sends me a party request on Facebook (unless I rock with you in some way). My inbox and notifications stay full all off of bothersome a$$ party promoters that aren’t getting the memo that I don’t give a rats left donkey cheek about them or their events. It wouldn’t be so bad if you just got an invite or a wall post every now and then, or just once, or even just a group invite and then I can decide if I want to be alerted regularly about future parties, etc, but no…these cats feel the need to constantly constantly constantly send messages…messages that go to my phone, phone vibrates, I’m at work bored and get slick side excited like “I wonder who could be hollering at me right quick, whose about to save me from the jaws of boredum?” and it’s the promoter who I don’t even know tryna get me to come give him some of my money (every weekend) just because he thinks I’ll be horny enough to believe that a chick that looks like the chick on his flyer is going to grind on my crotch or give me some pu$$y at this event…..

Yah, that was a rant…lol, I don’t even check my inbox anymore…the party folk have effectively ponked (NOLA word for, ‘forcibly scared off or pushed out by a person or entity’) me out of my own FB inbox through annoyance. Which is why ‘Twitter >’. I wish I could go to some of these cats houses and flip the script



Promoter answers door

Promoter: Yes?

Me: Gimme some money 

Promoter: No…

 Me: Gimme some so you can see some bad b!tches

Promoter: Let me think about it

 Me: Ok (leaves)

(10 minutes later.)


Promoter answers door

Promoter: What?

 Me: Gimme some money

Promoter: I told you I’d think about it

 Me: Gimme some money so you can see some bad b!tches

Promoter: Depends on if I’m off or not, I’ll let you know

 ME: Ok (leaves)

(12 minutes later)


Promoter answers door

Promoter: what the hell bruh?

 Me: Gimme some money (rings doorbell)

Promoter: No!

 Me: Gimme some money so you can see some bad b!tches (rings doorbell)

Promoter: No, and stop ringing my doorbell

 Me: Bad b!tches (rings doorbell)

Promoter: No thank you…stop ringing it!

 Me: It’s a party, bad b!tches..gimme some money

Promoter: leave me alone!

 Me: ok

(8 minutes later)


(Promoter doesn’t answer door. Door bell rings 20 more times. When Promoter finally comes to door, no one is there…he steps outside and see over 50 party flyers stuck to his car that says “come see bad b!tches”…he walks up to his car and sees a sign that reads “Gimme Some Money”)


“The tension between Harris and Nikki apparently became so great that when police asked the Rasmussens who might have wished to harm them, the couple immediately pointed the finger at their former friend

“The two are no longer friends due to a dispute over Facebook,” Jim Rasmussen told officials with the Des Moines Police Department. “According to Nikki, Jen is angry with her because she ended their friendship on Facebook.”—The Huffington Post

This guy loves saying ‘on Facebook’, if you click the actual link and read the straight story it’s funny how many times he keeps saying ‘On Facebook’ like he really wants to drive it home that ‘Facebook is evil.’  Ok, maybe not evil..but at least a dumb a$$ reason to end a friendship and an even dumber reason to attempt to murder someone.

“The siding on the house melted and the garage roof collapsed, according to reports. The Rasmussens only managed to escape the blaze after a loud booming sound woke them up. “It was ablaze at 1 a.m. It was just totally engulfed,” neighbor Dominic Formaro told ABC News.”–The Huffington Post

Look at this lady though…Jenny does look a bit disturbed.

Dunno what’s worse, this situation or the other firebombing that happened in the news. You know the firebombing at the Taco Bell because they didn’t put enough meat in his chalupa….yea that one…wait, you didn’t hear about that one?

And here’s winner of the #captainobvious award, someone I like to call “Mr Exciting” giving his professional expert opinion on the matter…

This should teach you damn fast food workers to GET THE ORDERS RIGHT! Can’t sell a man a chalupa filled with an anorexic amount of  meat, that’s just UnAmerican…Texas would hate you for that. So, dude took it into his own hands and sent them a message and taught them a lesson. Betcha these Taco Bell workers won’t ever skimp another person out of their chalupa meat, betcha that.  He’s like a hero to those that are regularly shafted by the inept fast food worker.  Yes, he’s definitely psychologically disturbed…but what superhero isn’t?

Anyway…much to no one’s surprise @JennyTorchThatA$$ is getting some jail time.

Police charged Jennifer Harris with first degree arson.–The Huffington Post

Now she can make new friends that she can have shower rape parties with and  best of all no one can unfriend each anyone….happy ending for all eh?

Ay Jenny….stay away from broom sticks, just a heads up.



About mBATS

Posted on November 5, 2011, in GOTHAM NEWS and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. lol S/O Japan tho! They keep it freaky AF over on that side.

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