FlyWithBats FLASHBACK: The Ingredients of a Real MAN
This FlyWithBats Flashback Post comes from 2009. For those that don’t know, before I co-founded GumboMonster and we started stirring this pot per say, I blogged for my own site called FlyWithBats.Com for a few years. The FWB Flashback is basically me taking any new readers on a look back of some of my older posts that may still have some relevance today. For more ‘Classic Flights’ as well as newer posts from me, click here.
YES…new posts are coming soon, I’m working on a few myself to get the gumbo pot bubbling again.
YES….new movies AND new music from the camp are coming soon as well, we’re definitely working.
Appreciate all the support of those that have been behind us, trust the best is still to come!
Follow Me: @MisterBats
No matter who you are, where you’re from, what you watch, what you don’t watch, what you listen to, what God you serve, what type of person you love or fuck, everybody has heard some kind of variation of the quotes above. Why is this? Because more and more bitch-ass people are sprouting up everyday
And a majority of em are in denial of their bitch-ass nature. Seriously though, I swear, bitch-ass people point their fingers the most at whose real and whose bitch-made on a daily basis, while regular folk only take notice to em when they do something so out the box Lassiefied that it can’t help but be noted…
We don’t need much explanation as to what constitutes a bitch-nigga, because we see it and hear about that enough every day. And don’t get me wrong, as humans, we’re not perfect, and we are all subject to do bitch ass things from time to time, but the bitch-nigga, the bitch-made person doesn’t just slip up, it’s almost a damn way of life for them to be conniving, sneaky, lying, messy, hating ass people that only see happiness in another’s misery. So for them, and in a way to always remind myself of the type of person I should always be, I’ve put together what I think constitutes a REAL nigga, a REAL man, and nah this ain’t on some wannabe thug “Oh he stabbed 60 niggas ina gun fight, blew up his enemies grandma’s house, and pissed on his neighbor’s kittens so he must be the REALEST” type shit, it’s really an honest examination into the qualities in a man that will always be respected, no matter what new fad is in…what ingredients make up the real nigga pot?
Everybody lies, so nah, I’m not expecting niggas to start walking on water in their new Js or start rocking thorn made fitted caps, but I will say this, the main person a real man should always be honest with is himself. I get tired of seeing cats following behind mice, “since he’s rocking the 4x t-shirt, and he getting love like that, I’m gonna rock the 4x t-shirt so I can get love like he do”, the shit is super gay, and I don’t mean this in any way to offend homosexuals….but the shit is gay, still…Let that man do him, and you do the real you.
Now everyone knows that to be an effective leader, you’ve got to know how to follow, and everyone has to follow somebody’s lead sometimes. We all look up to people, so I’m not saying not to have idols, nor am I in denial about the fact that the media program us to an extent, but under all of the glitz and camera angles, you as a person live with yourself, and I don’t recall my grandmama encouraging me to be nobody’s bitch for life. A real leader, even when following, never disrespects himself while he’s in that process, ever.
If you really like rocking blue hair, listening to jazz music, wearin young ass t-shirts, watching the Young and the Restless, love wearing corduroy pants, and flip flops, if that’s you, be true to you as they say. I ain’t saying everyone is gonna be as open minded, and yah your pussy rate may drop if folks ain’t use to or feeling what you doin, but at least the pussy, the attention, you’ll eventually get is off of your own swag being considered fresh, and not off you riding another man’s johnson and johnson.
I’m not tryna go ona after school special kick, but it’s hard as hell to respect a man as a man, when the man that he’s portraying, and the man that he really is are on two different subjects within their life’s conversation.
It’s troubling when I see a cat feeling comfortable with his pants pulled up to his belly button, but when he gets around his friends,pulls the shit down pass his ankles just so they won’t rib him, or when the exact same mafuckas that was ribbing my ass for dressing “white” a few years back, wanna call it “rocker” now that Lil Wayne has made it “in” and think they just invented some new shit….my bad, that may have been a bit of my inner hater coming out, i apologize…but the shit is still gay
Everyone has flaws and faults, and I’ve let peer pressure and other’s opinions knock me off my road to honesty many times, so I’m not trying to act as if I came from the womb of a virgin, but I will say this, when you get over the hump of what other people have to say about you, everything else falls in place because you’re no longer trying to be anything, you’re just being whats natural, what you were born to be.
So if your natural thought is that them niggas with these tight ass T-shirts and tight ass pants is superhomo and that aint your shit, then don’t turn hypocrite for some ass, that’s just admitting that the vagina controls you
You’re saying it has you whipped and you’ll be the personal man-bitch to anybody that baits you with it (REAL MEN CONTROL THE VAGINA) and if you say you’re not doing it for the vagina,then that means you’re following niggas for the penis, and unless that’s how you swing…you ain’t winning no real nigga points over here
And lastly lying for no reason is uncalled for, lie to get yourself outta some deep death defying shit, that’s it, cuz fareal we’re suppose to be grown, if you don’t own a benz, don’t claim you do, if you didn’t get the panties, don’t say you did, if you don’t work there, continue to not work there in real life. It’s sad that this is something to be noted, but I’ve noticed from working with folk younger than me to cats older me, that this childish mentality doesn’t die, there’s 30 yr old ‘men’ out there still sipping on that bottle of bullshit.
Ingredient #1: A real ass nigga, a real man, knows who he is, is comfortable being him, and dares somebody to challenge him on it.
I swear this is the toughest ingredient for many to swallow. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. I swear, the words, the promise of every bastard son is that he’ll NEVER do to his kids, what was done to him by his father, abandonment, bur with the lack of fathers being at an all time high in children’s lives for decades now, it’s painfully obvious that this verbal check has bounced a million times over basically bankrupting the black community into a debt that has no payment in site….even Barack agrees
A real nigga takes responsibility for his actions, this isn’t even to be preachy, it’s just being real. I hear dudes day in and day out talking about how this nigga a bitch for snitching, or that nigga is a bitch for cheating, or this cat a bitch for not wanting to fight, and even if all three of those situations ring bitch for some people, all three fail in comparison to the bitch of a shadow that the Dead Beat Daddy (DBD) eclipse engulfs children in.
How you gon call a nigga a bitch for not fighting a nigga, and you won’t fight for your kid? How you gon jump on somebody for cheating, when you cheating on your kids. And the big no-no of the community these days is SNITCHING, we got “NO SNITCHING” t-shirts, hats, shoes, shoestrings, condoms, what the fuck. Cats who hate on snitches, say snitches don’t respect the code of the streets, they feel like “
ina streets we supposeta watch out for our own, let matters get worked out amongst our own kind, the government and the cops aren’t of us, they don’t care about us, so they have no business corrupting our lives w/ their bullshit politics, we got our own codes that we live by, to protect us” etc etc etc,
now all of this “taking care of us”, and “handling things ourselves” and “protecting us” smells like cow manure when half of these cats aint even there for their children. In the hood is where nobody knows their fathers, in the hood they say death to snitches for ruining nigga’s lives, while they MURDER their children’s lives by not being there, I say death to the hypocrites, the DBDs. Lets get some “STOP DBDs” t-shirts made, I know enough bastards to sell em to…
Maybe if more niggas raised their children right, then the whole snitching problem(among other problems) wouldn’t be a factor, since real men, raise real men, but obviously nobody wants the responsibility to be a real man anymore, its about being a “G”…I guess in their case they mean a Ghost…bitch ass niggas
Bottom line, Real men make sure their daughters don’t end up hating niggas for life, because of the initial abandonment of their “fathers”, and real men make sure their sons know what a man is first hand, instead of letting him go out improvising and adlibbing it…
And there’s many more examples I could use for “Taking Responsibility” of actions, I could say pay your bills, and admit when you’re wrong because scratches now leave wounds for years and all that, and those are real, and should be noted, but this one is the most important in my view, because the times are always changing, but hardly ever for the better.
Ingredient #2: A real man takes responsibility for his actions, if he did it, he did it, and will accept the consequences AND the blessings that come with it, because with honor is the only way a real man can get a good night’s sleep.
Now this one is another trip into MyPersonalOpinionLand, so most may not agree w/ me, but fuck em, cuz I can’t respect a nigga that has no goals in life bruh, period. I don’t care if your goal is owning a shrimping company that makes every kind of shrimp or being the head cashier at McDonald’s, ambition is the only way anyone can live the orgasm that life is suppose to be, instead of being stuck with the limp let down and busted cherry it can become. I use to wonder,’why do Bitch niggas spend so much time pouring buckets of hate on successful folk?’ and came to the conclusion that it’s because pouring hate out keeps them from drowning in the thoughts that it could’ve been them, there’s so much hate for themselves in their head, that they direct it at the people they wish they had the testicles to be, otherwise they’d prolly just kill themselves, which at times I feel that many of em should, it could be a public service, but that’s just my assholish side coming out….
Back to the point, everybody has a hater see planted in them since birth, but like that Slim Jim commercial with the kid letting his “spicy” side come out and it causes chaos in the class and shit,
you gotta know how to keep that inner hater in check, don’t water the seed. Hate breeds from jealousy and insecurity, which is the blood of the bitch nigga. To eliminate jealousy of others, you set goals for yourself to achieve, with every goal achieved, comes confidence as well as appreciation and admiration for others that have accomplished the same feat or better, and you really admire the ones that accomplish feats above your own, because this breeds motivation, but when you’re stuck, not doing shit, no goals, no plans, no ambition, you have nothing to do but nothing, nothing to look forward to but nothing, nothing to look at but yourself, it’s gonna become like watching a movie, even if you loved it at first, after watching the same old movie like 200 times,eventually you’re gonna hate that mafucka, and anybody who loves it. Living same old movie, day in and day out, while erybody around you is getting sequels, doubling and tripling their worth….
The man with the Maybach can’t hate on the man with the Maybach just like two managers at Burger King that are getting paid basically the same, can’t hate on each other. If you lack ambition to become the best you can be, or at least better then what you are, you’re easily setting yourself up to catch bitchassness, seriously, it is known to be contagious like that.
And what real man you know, wants to be a slave?
KEY THING TO REMEMBER: A real man, doesn’t make excuses…for ANYTHING, excuses are reasons for people to accept you being mediocre…
Ingredient #3: A real ass nigga, a real man, is a slave to no one
Friends that are real friends are considered family, and without family, a man is nothing. Whether you have a huge Brady Bunch, or if it’s just you and Gizmo kicking it, nobody can respect a man that doesn’t respect the people who would die for him. Point blank. Most of us are so screwed up as people, and make so many mistakes after mistakes after mistakes, only to be forgiven time and time again, don’t even deserve the love that family continues to provide….for FREE. And this isn’t just something that goes for celebrities who shit on their friends once they get fame, because the majority of folk that we come into contact w/ aren’t celebrities, they’re regular cats out here selling their friends out for money, material stuff and once again most notoriously the male kryptonite….vagina of course…
Top two things that niggas kill niggas over is sex and money, and more times than expected, it’s brothers pulling the trigger on brothers.
If you’re sitting here, taking the time out of your day, to read this long ass blog, then I can safely assume that you’re a fairly intelligent person, so do I even need to get into detail into how idiotic it is to take someone’s life, their being on this earth, over money that you coulda been making with that person (or on your own w/o them in ur life), or even worst killing somebody over sex!? Last I checked pussy wasn’t going extinct or nothing, so I don’t get it…
I’ve been in this position too many times, where a friend will sell me out for a girl, whether its believing some random chick’s word over mines, or try and get at my girl, time and time again, and peep it, ona flip side I’ve even slipped, on some real shit, and broke the code and did something with a friend of mine’s ex before, but what I always felt separated me, from the guy that did it to me, is the fact that I told my nigga what happend, was straight up w/ him and refused to keep it a secret (like the girl wanted), unlike my “potna” that never told me anything, and let the girl have to be the one to air him out. My loyalty wasn’t with the girl, it was w/ my dawg, and while the girl is long gone out of both of our lives, me and my nigga been holding each other down for years since.
And this theme also goes for niggas in relationships. If you’ve made the commitment to this girl, and the promise is that you will not cheat on her, it ain’t real of you to do so. And I know, cats be like “It aint a commitment if God aint involved”, which is also true in my book to an extent, but when I think about that, I realize that, marriage is commitment between you, the girl, and God…but before you put God into the situation, the commitment is between you and the girl, and if you can’t keep it right with the girl and with yourself before you involve God, there’s no way that adding a larger than life third party into your situation is the situation ever going to look like heaven.
In keeping with the “Nobody’s Perfect theme,” I don’t think that someone who cheated is a cheater. People trip and slip, it’s gravity, but you can only slip so many times before its obvious that your ass is ona ground w/ the her breast in your mouth, her booty in your palm, and you ain’t planning on ever getting up…more gravity. If this woman is holding you down heavy, doing your laundry, helping with your problems, running your errands, kicking you cash, being the best wifey a wifey can be, and you’ve given her this title, its acknowledged, why waste her life and your credibility by breaking the commitment…why make the commitment in the first place?
Shiit, and ona side note, niggas be cheating w/ downgrades, not to cancel out my above statement, but straight up if you gon cheat nigga, cheat w/ somebody SMASHING your ol lady, so at least, she can look at her and think “Well, shit, I’da done her too”…lol…AND this would count as being loyal to yourSELF…in some way,lol
Ingredient #4: A real man respects the bond of family, which are the people that hold you down like no other. If they’d die for you, and you’d die for them, don’t ever think of pushin em ina coffin first…
I kinda covered this one in the part about Honesty and in Taking Responsibility, but just to highlight it once again, in it’s simplest, this is how grandma use to say it terms…”If you ain’t respecting yourself, why should anyone else”
Why do we teach girls to keep their knees glued together as long as possible, but teach lil boys to fill up any std hole possible? I’m not judging anybody ona tip of sex, because I love sex, so I’d be a hyprocrite if I was to try and call a male OR a female a hoe, a slut, or whatever derogatory close minded word most super religious types love to spew out at the drop of a nut, but I can’t endorse cats that take whatever they can get.(yes thats rkelly)
As a man, you should have some standards as to what you’re sticking your penis into. The stakes are too high for you not to. It’s accepted for niggas to just fuck fuck fuck, but there comes a time when you gotta start respecting your penis, out of all your dawgs, your penis is truly your nigga FOR LIFE.
Just like with cheating on your girlfriend, you’re going to slip up and bang a few ‘ugga muggas’ from time to time, a few chicks that shouldn’t have gotten it…but also like with cheating, there’s a difference between someone who slips up, and a slutty ass nigga. You can’t respect a slutty ass nigga, because not only do they bang whatever they can get(rugrats and all), but they catch whatever they can catch, and eventually give whatever they can give to girls(that may be slipping just once) that I’m planning on getting it from and shiiit, if I catch something because of some slutty ass male or female, that didn’t have self respect for themselves, so now it’s gotten to me, I’ma go stone cold crazy, murdering sprees is happening,and I’m more than sure there’s cats out there that agree w/ me.
Also, as a man, have some respect about yourself, don’t wallow in ignorance, crave knowledge, read a book muthafucka, an ignorant man is treated like an animal, talked down to, not respected, no room for advancement, it doesn’t have to be a physics or a calculus book, but something that will help you better yourself, not for other people, but for your own respect as a person, its basically giving a gift to yourself…because we already know Santa doesn’t have this one in his bag of goodies…
*And don’t let nobody breathing disrespect who you are, I’m like Malcolm X when it comes to that shit, so once again MyOpinionLand may not be the right place for everyone to visit, but real shit, a real nigga, a real man never backs down when he genuinely feels that someone is disrespecting them as a person, whether its over your race or your livelihood, some things are really worth going to jail over (WARNING FOLLOW AT YOUR OWN RISK)*
Ingredient #5: If you don’t respect you, who will?
A real man doesn’t sweat the small shit, he learns how to let go, whether its a screwed up relationship, an old beef, whatever it is, a real ass nigga understands that in life if you don’t let go, and learn to choose your battles, choose what to let slide, and choose what to keep w/ you, you will be stuck in the situation forever, whatever it is. The longer you let skeletons haunt you, the larger the skeletons will grow, and the closet can only house so much. Remember, even angels have skeletons, so don’t let skeletons hold you back, they aren’t even living…but you are…think on that
I won’t say you’re a bitch nigga if you don’t have confidence, but seeing you as being a real man, w/ no confidence in yourself is pretty hard…and out of all of the definitions for confidence, I’ll say that true confidence is identifying our insecurities, and embracing them. Cats that lack confidence, let their insecurities take control of their thinking, causing emotionally reckless decisions sl
Let me check her phone, let me follow her wherever she goes, let me ask a millions questions whenever we’re apart, let me call her 23 hr and 59 minutes a day
Let me hate on him because he gets women, because he’s bigger than me, because he has the job I wanted, because because etc etc
I won’t beat you over the head with this one, but confidence is a must, confidence equals success, no matter how ugly other ppl say you are, no matter how mediocre folk may try to say you are, look at cats like Jay-Z and Lil Wayne, two ugly mafuckas that have the world at their fingertips? Why?? because they knew the world was there for them….this one should blend well in the pot with ‘self respect’ and ‘honesty with oneself’
In conclusion, you mix all of these ingredients, and if you want to, let the spices marinate for a bit, Preheat the oven for about 18-21yrs and the dish is done. This is my recipe for what makes up a REAL ASS MAN. Whatever you do, don’t add VAGINA, because as has been documented numerous times, this is the BEST WAY to spoil the recipe if you aren’t use to adding foreign foods to your cooking.
Gotta problem w/ my recipe, well then see the special man……
Oh, two final notes
*note1: My cousin ANTBEAST told me that to some up his opinion of a real man, is a man that has real integrity, and he said to not define what integrity was, but to make people look it up (yah my cuz is mean like that)….well click here
*note2: My dude Prophecy told me that he was interested in hearing my opinion of the Youngbuck fiasco, well I’ve covered that enough, but for this blog, I do wanna say that, just because a man cries, that does not make him a bitch, that does not make him a pussy, and just cause that man broke down on the phone, I won’t lose respect for him, he’s just going through some shit, and as FUNNY AS THE AUDIO IS, we can’t judge him….laugh yeah…but…he’s still real in my book, and check out his newest song, LAUGH NOW, CRY LATER ….
oh and this one too
As always, this was only this was just my $0.02 towards life’s $0.98…