Vomiting over the democratic party

I turn on the news, OBAMA and HILLARY, I turn on the radio, OBAMA and HILLARY, I go on the internet OBAMA and HILLARY, blog after blog, vlog after vlog, this Democratic Race madness just won’t go a away!

Honestly I’m a part of that majority that feel that they might as well have sex and get it over with, don’t worry Bill you can tape it, after all Hillary does owe Bill one anyway right? And I say the best way to get a cheating white president with a ghetto pass(that’s deemed him black for decades) back is by screwing a powerful black man, honestly I think that would be quite poetic

And when the dust is all clear, shit we can let Al Gore represent, he got screwed last time anyway right? And he cares about Global Warming, sounds like a great President in my book …..But yeah, back to HilBama, I’ve been avoiding this topic as a writer, because its so over done to the point that I’d rather have somebody google up someone’s blog who gives a truer shit about it all than me. I’ve never really been big on politics, due to the fact that I’m one of those conspiracy theory types that has felt for the longest, that the government has it all set up, and no matter which gang you decided to side with , the real Bloods (Republicans) or the real Crypts (Democrats), when its all said in done America never seems to feel as if anything is changing. Racism is that old guy in the guiness book of world records that just won’t die, Poverty is that woman that seems like she’ll never get off her period, Crime is gonna cease as soon as George Bush becomes a Muslim, and Global Warming? Well, who really gives a fuck about Global Warming, because honestly if anyone did then it wouldn’t be a problem (Sorry Al)

…pardon my pessimism but yes, Illuminati is real, the New World Order does exist and I’m not talking about anything dealing with Scott Hall or Kevin Nash…

So with these seemingly UnAmerican but truly FullyAmerican style ideas swirling in my brain like turds in a stopped toilet, you can begin to see why this HilBama fiasco is urking me to no end.

But you know what? Honestly, even though I just talked all that shit, pessimism against the system isn’t what’s really has me so sick of it all, because I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I wasn’t engaged in the fact that once again in my lifetime I’m witnessing history, whether its 9/11, Lil Wayne being #1, Katrina, Lauren London, Hussein’s death,Nick Cannon getting wifed by Mariah, The Book of Judas being found, T.I. only getting a year for felony charges, cloning, Bow Wow’s bitchassness, the Sean Bell tragedy, Magic Johnson’s birthday, or the first Black President, I truly appreciate every day I live to see something that’ll one day be read about. We are all getting old, and you know what old people’s favorite thing to do is? Talk about old shit that went down before we were born, so since I recognize that, I’m applauding my generation for giving me some funny as well as dynamic ass shit to talk about once I’m too old to care about anything going on in the present, yadig. (George Bush, Doesn’t care about Black People– Kanye West…CLASSIC)

So yeah, I’m split like a slutty cheerleader when it comes to how much I truly care about this Obama/Hillary stuff, BUT, that doesn’t make me any less sick of hearing, reading, talking about and now joining in with everyone else and typing about this glorified episode of ‘Shot at Love'(America being Tila Tequila of course) that we call our primary.

What started as a landslide victory for Clinton over the red nigga with the big ears and goofy name, turned into the biggest comeback since Jesus Christ with King Obama basically resting his balls on Hillary’s forehead until whenever she decides to give up. Who would have ever thought that in the Nappy Headed Hoes, Be a Nigger Too, “Thank You Come Again” = Terrorist Language, society we call America would there ever be a presidential candidate of terrorist descent (wasup Boondocks watchers!). Let alone one in the lead to becoming the HNIC of the entire country. Wow. No, fuck that…double WOW…But of course with this great power, came the great responsibility of the American public to turn this glorified runoff into the most racist, sexist, silliest, gayest display of politics I’ve ever seen in my great and fully lived 22 years of existence. For those of you living under a rock here’s a list of highlights (in no particular order), look em up for yourselves because I am not wikipedia

Obama’s pastor says America is fucked up, so the news feels that Obama thinks that America is fucked up too, so he shouldn’t be president if his pastor thinks America is fucked up…

Obama cuts off his pastor, because Obama feels that the man whose church he’s attended all his life is suddenly crazy for thinking that America is fucked up

John Mccain continues to attend Catholic church, even though everyone knows the Priests are fucked up, but no 1 says anything to the Mighty Mccain, whose good friends with guys that wants Obama to get assassinated

the experts say that since Hillary is a woman, she needs to toughen up to compete with the men

-the experts say that Hillary is too manly, so she cries on camera

the experts say that she’s losing the black vote, so she grabs her favorite black guy of all, her husband Bill Clinton to join her on the campaign trail

-Barack admits that he was a pothead in college….his lips prove that he’s a pothead in office as well…

Hillary’s friend says Obama is only winning because he’s black, though fails to realize that if this is true that means that Hillary must only have the women’s vote because she has a vagina, she must’ve missed that…can’t blame her, I thought Hillary had a penis for a minute too…

John Mccain will keep us in war for 100 years and a 100 years after that, and 6 months more if that isn’t enough….I guess he feels that since he’s already made it to 100 yrs old, how hard can it be to make it to 200 hundred, right? (I know cheap Mccain oldie joke, but damn everyone else is cracking on the fogie why cant I?)

-John Mccain calls Obama a pussy for not serving in the military

-Hillary Clinton says Barack is all talk, Barack says Hillary is all talk, all they both do is talk, but Barack talks better, so Black America turns on Hillary, so Hillary turns on Black America and gets Bill to start talking in spanish …..and west virginiaish

Bill Clinton says that Barack’s presidential future will basically end up like Jesse Jackson’s presidential future because they look alike

Hillary says that she is the only candidate that can answer a phone late at night, so she should win

Obama says Hillary’s plan has holes in it, Hillary says Barack’s plan has holes in it, experts say their plans only differ by like 5percent…ok

-Hillary sends out emails to everyone in Christian America, that Barack’s a muslim…then she later persecutes dude for something his CHRISTIAN Minister of 20 years said months later…oh and pictures surface of an early relationship with Bill and the Minister, proving that Hillary knew that Barack wasn’t a Muslim all along…gotta love politics...

Old Republicans don’t like John Mccain, but normal people do, so to make Old Republicans like John Mccain more, they get Bush to endorse him, but normal people don’t like Bush…good luck Republicans

-John Mccain releases his medical records, to make America feel better, and doctor says he has an unremarkable ass….no seriously

Some old white man made a bunch of Curious George shirts in support of Obama…and was deemed racist, because Obama looks like Curious George

-Barack never bangs that sexy ass Obama Girl from You Tube

Barack kicks Hillary’s ass in damn never every state until we get to the rural white people, you know, the people that only see black folk on television…

-Hillary says Barack can’t get the rural white folk( i.e the HICKS)’s votes, and that even though she’s been rich damn near all her life, and Barack comes from a poor, single mother household in Chicago, she’s knows whats best for the working class

Barack kicks it with “the working class”, chillin in caves and shit

Hillary drinks beers with them

-Hillary starts winning states, West Virginia was one of her highlights since damn near every person that was asked why they pick Hillary their answers were because Barack is a “Nigger, muslim with a dumb name”…good job West Virginia

Barack is seen sucking at bowling, so the news show highlights of how good he is in basketball, as well as a clip of him saying that he’ll get a goal set up in the white house…..yup…he’s black

Hillary tells Iran that when she becomes President she’s going to blow their asses up if they even breathe in Israel’s direction….she then says that she’s against the war in Iraq

Barack tells John Mccain and the Republican party that if any of them say anything foul about his wife or his children, he will personally eat their children

And the ridiculousness continues and continues. When I was a youngin Bill Clinton ruled the world and everyone’s hearts, getting head from the secretary only cemented his legend amongst me and my peers. I mean damn, how cool is that, I’m not saying I approve of adultry, but damn…Bill showed the world how big his balls were and kept the presidency, thats GANGSTA…but I honestly had no idea what he did as President, at a young age all i knew was the Bill Clinton charisma, that’s about it…oh and that he played saxophone and occasionally inhaled…what a role model for a young black kid from the 7th ward….so the initial shock of the Bush screwjob opened my eyes a great deal to what politics had in store, then the first poor Bush run, then the Bush and Kerry sitcom, which was bullshit, everyone could tell they were butt buddies how can the entire country hate the President but he wins again, nah, everyone knows, so as the Vote or Die gimmick wore off, and Hillary was basically guaranteed an easy victory, in came basically one of the most prominent figures in a long time, a well spoken, mulatto, graduate of Harvard from Chicago…what?! Yeah white America got us back with the whole white boy graduating from Morehouse as valedectorian thing, but it had to be the shock to the system to see a black Harvard graduate running for president, so this is what pulled me back into politics, and I swear everything from CNN to the Colbert Report , if it was about this election, I was watching it. It had me hooked, my grown man was in full swing, whether they were talking about Barack being the first candidate probably ever to have to have Secret Service protection just in the initial runoffs, to Hillary crying about her love for the country, to the entire world wondering if Mccain was going to get life insurance just in case he died while in office of old age or his MANY medical problems, I was on it.

But but but, as the months have gone on, and things have gone from interesting debates, to full on bullshit butt fondling style spats. That’s when I began feeling like everything was a waste of time. Is anyone gonna be surprised if we have an Obama/Clinton ticket? No, its obvious that the Democrats want that, but Hillary is being the bitch she is…and honestly I don’t blame her. As much as I dislike a huge sum of her decisions and how she’s handled alot of her situations, which were seemingly brought on by menopause, if I was in her position, to be President, the HBIC?! shiiit, I’d fight for every vote from New York to Hawaii to the planet formerly known as Pluto baby…

Am I a Hillary supporter? Hell no, I’m black, and its fucked up, and racist, but thats America…Now don’t get me wrong, just because I’m black that doesn’t mean that thats the only reason I’m voting for Obama, unlike many of my fellow refugee colored folk, I actually paid attention to what both candidates had to say, BUT, when you tell me that both Hillary and Barack have the exact same plan for the country, then it no longer has anything to do with policies, the decision now becomes a decision of preference. I, like many of my peers am going to pick who I can most indentify with, and seeing a black man as President is something I want my grandparents to see in their lifetime, as well as my little sister to see as an inspiration for her generation that they don’t have to believe that there’s a glass ceiling blocking them from their dreams, even though at times it can feel very real, the dreamer doesn’t let the “reality” that other people attempt to pose against them restrain the dream, and if our next generation aren’t dreamers, then all this Change that Barack is attempting to stand for will all be for nothing, and seriously a change is needed…

And even if he is just talking out his ass, because the jury is out on whether he’s completely genuine or not, but I’ll support him, hopefully he doesn’t end up being an embarassment to the community, because best believe if Barack wins and is full of shit, all of those West Virginian thinking folk are going to use that as the steam to NEVER EVER allow anyone of any color get a shot at office ever again, “Ite niggers, we gave you your shot, it was fun….DUCE!”….

So with Barack holding the most superdelegates all while steadily dodging the KKK, with Hillary fighting to get the Florida(florida florida florida, how politics love thee) vote that she feels is her state even though this Florida vote STILL doesn’t guarantee her the win, unless she knows something we don’t (duh), and with Mccain just trying to stay alive and awake long enough to catch the Golden Girls reunion(YES! another one!)….we as American citizens have to endure more and more of bullshit media hype, and i just can’t take it anymore.

SO, what do I do? I take it back to my roots and take a look at whats going on in politics in Africa, don’t ask me why Africa, it was just the first continent that popped up, I woke up that morning, looked in the mirror, and saw AFRICA…so just as I load up my computer, and it goes to the yahoo start page, lo and behold a story on CNN about an internal struggle in Zimbabwe. Seemingly, they’ve had the exact same president for like 3 decades(imagine THAT shit), and the U.S. came over and decided that he’s been a suck ass President because there was a huge majority that said he has Husseinish qualities, so now its about to go to the voting people as to whether they want to vote their President out, and while the President Mugabe denies the allegations, there has risen strong strong strong evidence that he’s killing off anybody that’s planning on voting against him.

Which of course made me look at the similarities between their political problems and ours. Their President is killing to stay in office, our President was just killing to stay in office, Bush scared the nation into war and used that fear to stay in office, now we’re seeing two colleagues in the same Democratic party, fighting tooth and nail, tears and ears, for this position. The Republicans, cut their deals, and pushed behind Mccain, the Democrats are splitting the party, and pissing lines in the sand that may not be able to be repaired. With RACE, the most sensitive of issues, playing such a huge part in this runoff, and with black democrats and white democrats on either side, ready to give up if their candidate isn’t chosen….it makes me wonder is this moment, which was suppose to be history in the making for whoever wins, be history in the making for all the wrong reasons…is someone going to end up dead?…and I’m not necessarily talking in the literal terms, but anyone watching this madness has to see that this runoff has gotten waay more personal then just a friendly contest and debate of ideas. I’ve already admitted that if Obama loses, I’m not going to be interested in the campaign at all, and I know alot of people who feel the same way. We’ll see how this all turns out, but I can say that I’m sick and tired of it all, and as the rest of my fellow Americans feel the sickness dawning upon them as well, I’m begging the leaders to be leaders, step up, get the job done, pick a candidate ASAPtually (new WORD!) and lets move forward towards a truly better country. Because like I said earlier, I’m not an idealist when it comes to government, because I can’t shake my suspicions of government puppeteering (with of course us playing the role of Pinnochio), but I am an optimist for change, I think change can happen if everyone together decides to not be sick anymore, and before me and the rest of America vomits on this whole democracy crap I’m hoping the Democrats can get their shit together, and stop bringing us back decades with this inner party segregation crap…well at least before we all vomit.

So Barack, Hillary, go ahead, get booty, get it over with, then come together, and treat this upcoming election as more than just a One Night Stand of Jungle fever, but truly like a relationship
with the country, because if you can’t get your party straight, how the hell are you gonna get the country straight….and lets not talk about the world…

“Be the Change you wish to see in the world”— Gandhi

Oh, and vote STEPHEN COLBERT for PRESIDENT in 2012!

Once again, this was just my $0.02 towards life’s $0.98

BATS, the ACE among kings…

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