WHAT IF HIP-HOP WAS A HIGHSCHOOL….

What if Hip Hop was a highscool….hrmmm

FRESHMAN CLASS

Chris “Hurricane” Dooley: Hurricane Chris pops up ona first day, fresh white T, starched ass jean shorts, all white G-Nikes, and white and black beads dangling from his hair. He’s the hardest cheerleader at school, nobody hates on dude because he stays cliqued up, and cuz he has hands like a mug, he just beat up a retarded kid last week. He really joined the cheerleading squad so he could try and holla at alla older cheerleaders, “AY BAY BAY”, unfortunately they don’t respect that cheerleading shit, so he’s planning on joining the basketball team next year.

Niatia ‘Lil Mama’ Kirkland: Lil Mama is that chick that shows up ona first day confident as hell like shes been there before. She’s one of those fashion heads, lil diva from the ‘jects, that most people think is stuck up when they first meet her, but she’s a sweetheart at the end of the day. She’s obsessive about it and compulsive when it comes to her lips being dry, so she stays with lip gloss on hand, if a nigga at school approaches her with chapped lips he gets denied on spot. Alot of the older cats try and get at her, but she doesn’t deal with niggas with bullshit game that go to the same school as her, she only dates niggas with bullshit game that go to other schools, like her boyfriend. She use to be on the dance team but got booted off for thinking she knew too much, so lately she’s been into fashion type shit, heavy

Carlos “Shawty Lo” Walker: Carlos’s family is well connected, so as a freshman he’s already not tested, he’s gotten kept back a few times anyway, so he’s older than erybody else in his class. He quit the track team(though he was the fastest, since he always pretended the finish line was money) and the wrestling team because they were interfering in his relationship with his white columbian girlfriend (who he vows never to marry). He’s held a grudge with Clifford that goes all the way back to middle school. One day in the cafeteria Clifford bumped him, and Carlos has hated him ever since. Since that nigga ain’t say excuse me, Carlos has been waiting day and night for the first day of school so he could start spreading rumors about him. He begins to tell the entire school that Clifford cheats on his fine ass college girlfriend, with middle schoolers. This gets the school to think that their “king”, is a child molester and his reputation begins to get fucked up. Carlos says Clifford aint really good in baseball neither, that he’s a fake, and has issued a challenge to play him in MLB 2008 on XBOX 360….his challenge has gone unanswered.

DeAndre “Soulja Boy” Way: DeAndre is the youngest in his class, but is well known and respected throughout school as being that funny ass hustlin nigga. Always the class clown, and always selling something whether its CDs or snacks. Every upper class dudes sees him as their lil brother, and all of the older girls just wishes he was older. Homie does his thing in his first talent show, dancing and whatnot, but was ultimately beat out of the second place spot by this dude Chris Brown, Outkast always wins the talent shows so everybody else goes out for second third and fourth place, fourth place went to Omarion, which almost started some beef between Shad Moss and Chris Brown and Shad Moss and Deandre, because Shad takes it personal when his boy Omarion loses , or gets his feelings hurt. DeAndre also had a lil problem with this freshman clique callin themselves the Pop it off Boyz, selling CDs for half the price DeAndre was selling em for. Instead of getting angry, DeAndre begins selling CDs and DVDs for the price of one, and gets major props from erybody. He puts the extra money towards custom made shades and rubberbands. He has been seen kicking it w/ Curtis Jackson’s upper classmen clique lately.

Algernod “Plies” Washington: Algernod is the silent type that stays to himself and everybody thinks is going to blow the school up. Mad mad rumors were spreading from his middle school that he’d have temper tantrums, but it surprised everybody to see that he was a quiet calm seeming dude. What they don’t know is that homie really enjoys writing love poems, and to the girls he likes he puts secret admirer notes from “To My Bust It Baby” in their lockers. Around the end of the year, he decides to be in the black history program, and this is the first time anyone hear’s him speak. He talks about his brother being in JAIL, and how JAIL is where every black boy is meant to be, and how JAIL aint fun, and how he can’t wait to give back to the JAILS, and how CRACKERS make JAILS, and how he studies because he doesn’t want to go to JAIL and let the CRACKERS win, and how the boogey man aint got shit on JAIL or CRACKERS, and fuck the police. After sayin fuck the police he attacks the school security officer, and he gets suspended for awhile. His bust it babies visit him every day, feeling his now “thugged out” nature. He tells them that he’s like “Pliers” he can break anything, and he tells them to call him “Pliers”, unfortunately his accent was so strong that they thought he said “Plies”

Tramar ‘Flo-Rida’ Dillard: The only freshman to make it to the Varsity football team, he plays linebacker as well as running back because he’s fast as hell. He’s second string running back under Nelly. He and Nelly have an uneasy relationship because Nelly feels that Tramar is biting his style of playing the game. Since he’s on the varsity team, he’s always sneaking into college parties with the senior football players. He comes back with stories to tell his homie Brisco, about how the fine ass college girls in their apple bottom jeans and their boots with the fur (Brisco: With the fur?), and Tramar is like (“Yah”), how they be dancing so low low low to the floor that he had to say it three times and you gotta get on top of em. They clubs even have elevators. What most don’t know about Trama though, is that he really wishes he could be in the school choir.

The Cool Kids (Antoine and Evan): Antoine and Evan transfer to the school late, and as soon as stepping in they’re already marked “nerd ass dork boys that think they white”, what the rest of the class doesn’t understand is they they’re proud to be “nerd ass dork boys that think they white” and have even started a club for other “nerd ass dork boys that think they white” to join. They are members of the art club, and after a few months of seeing that these niggas don’t give a fuck about anybody’s opinions of em, and because they got the walls in the school looking so on point with all of the art…they finally get respect, they try to join the band but Kanye rejects them for some reason.

SOPHOMORE CLASS

Shad “Bow Wow” Moss: Ever since he was a freshman he always kicked it with upperclassmen. Gaining approval from Clifford Harris, Dwayne Carter and Curtis Jackson he feels that with their approval he sees himself as the king of the sophomore class, as well as king of the school once they all graduate. He was the only freshman picked to be on the basketball team the year prior based on his middle school coach, Coach Dupri’s recommendation. He made sure to never hesitate in rubbing it in to anyone who would listen, that he was the best thing to ever happen to basketball and the school itself. Whenever he got playing time, he showed some promise, but ultimately his skills seemed a bit lackluster, unless he was doing obvious tricks lifted from other players on the team (namely Dwayne Carter). On campus, he never dates any students his age, but often finds himself getting dumped by the older girls because the only subjects he seems able to talk about are his whip, his chains, and how he always has the newest J’s a month before anybody else in school. His last relationship was with dance team captain Ciara, who eventually dumped him for Curtis Jackson, somebody that wasn’t all talk, but actually provided results. She also said that he spent too much time with Omarion, and the shit was freaking her out. Shad is quick to demand respect from the entire school as a basketball player and kid from the gutter, but nobody is buying him as a credible especially since it’s no secret that he’s had a trust fund since he was 8.

D’ Juan “Young Dro” Hart: The freshest sophomore in his class, the homie D’Juan makes sure that every day his gear is on point from top to bottom. He’s also the first in the breakfast and lunch line every day. Oddly enough it’s because he has a fetish for comparing things to food, and drawing food all over his test papers. He’s Clifford’s Homecoming King campaign manager. He and Clifford grew up in the same neighborhood, and Clifford always admired the young dude’s dress game, saying that homie’s wardrobe “hit as smooth as dro”

Torrence “Lil Boosie” Hatch: Second string on the baseball team, Third string on the basketball team, occasional waterboy for the football team, but is the leader of the Swim Team. He glides through the water with an excitement that almost got him a spot on the cheer squad, but he thought that shit was gay, so he continued swimming. He and Dwayne live right around the corner from each other, and they go to the same church but nobody would know that they know each other because they don’t even talk at school.

Barry Cassidy Reese: On the wrestling team, wins a majority of his matches, but always lets the team down in competitions when the trophy is on the line. At school, he’s a fighter so he’s constantly in detention or on suspension for beating somebody up,and though he carries himself as if he’s the biggest thug on campus, he is often seen kissing the females asses for the pussy.

Joe Budden: Sophomore class’s valedictorian, got kept back due to absences and tardies. They say he’s a pretty good street baller that gave school legend, Shawn Carter a run for his money on the court, the coach put him on the team, but he could never keep his grades up high enough to stay on the team so he was eventually kicked off. Often seen taking pills for depression, Budden is a loner that doesn’t like anybody at school. He blames Shawn Carter for his basketball woes.

Joseph Jim Jones: Jim Jones just re-registered into school after previously dropping out. His family hit the lottery so he loves letting everybody know how much he’s now BALLING coming from nothing. He’s real close with Juelz and Dwayne, and is at every basketball game hyping them up yelling “BALLIN!” any time either one of them makes a basket. He thought that the “legendary Shawn Carter” was an overrated player, and never hesitates to let it be known, any time Shawn attends a game, he yells out from the stands saying the new blood is better than the Alumni

JUNIOR CLASS

Wasalu Muhammad “Lupe Fiasco” Jaco: Seen as the smartest kid in school, all he does is study and skateboard, skateboard and study. He’s the president of the Japanese Studies club. Would’ve gotten skipped years ago, but his parents felt that it would build character for him to advance in each grade naturally, even though he gets all A’s without attending classes. He embraces the title of nerd, and can be seen with many of the other “nerds”, Pharrell, Chad and Kanye from time to time after school skateboarding. What many don’t know about him is that he sells coke to college students in exchange for textbooks and other reading material.

LaRon “Juelz Santana” James: Finds himself riding the bench alot on the basketball team, even though it is known that he is a damn good street baller, they call him Juelz because his shot is beautiful. Problem is, he doesn’t pay attention to technique as much because of his natural talent, and he misses alot of practices due to the fact that he has to make money for his family. The coach says that his good friend Cameron Giles, who dropped out two years prior, is a bad influence on him and that if he came to practice he’d definitely be a contender as the star on the team. He and co-captain Dwayne Carter are good friends, and Carter has been working alot one on one with LaRon to up his game.

John “Fabolous” Jackson: Took up the “MACK” mantle after Calvin “Snoop Dogg” graduated, this young Junior is the man to go to for all of the ladies. Most of the guys don’t understand how a cat with a grill so fucked up could pull women the way that he does, but he lets them know that it’s all in the mouth piece. He scores As in all of his women teacher’s classes. He use to play on the baseball team and the basketball team, and though was pretty good, many said his game was boring to watch, so he eventually quit it because he was more into the ladies anyway

David “Young Buck” Brown: One of the best wide receivers in the game, was kicked off the football team after a big fight with the quarterback, Curtis Jackson. Curtis was mad that David wouldn’t go with him to the baseball and basketball games and root against their own teams, so Curtis began benching David time and time again, game after game. David felt betrayed, because whenever Curtis had a problem with anybody at school, he’d take the fight and get suspended and nearly expelled for it, this one altercation in particular, in the cafeteria involving a fork being one of the many highlights of David trying to be a good team player, and supporter of his quarterback. The two had a huge argument, no blows were thrown, but Buck was off the team. He thought about dropping out of school, to pursue other business ventures, but decided to join the baseball team, and has been getting alot of props. Unfortunately for David’s rep, Curtis played David crying on the phone to Curtis to the entire school at the Homcoming pep rally…payback?

Jay “Young Jeezy” Jenkins: He plays on no teams, is seen as a bully and a goon on campus, due to his many connections outside of school. The funny thing is, he’s cool as hell, and has an excellent singing voice, though most people wouldn’t know it. Of course he has no enemies at the school, but theres alotta beef w/ this cat named Gucci, that plays running back at their rival’s school over some money owed. Turns out that Gucci and Jeezy were the finalists in this huge madden tournament in the hood, and Gucci lost, but never paid up.

Big fight ensued, and things were never patched up. Word around, Gucci has been bullying Jeezy’s lil brother that goes to the same school, so Jeezy let it be known that at the homecoming game, that he’ll pay anybody that can hit Gucci on the field hard enough to take him out of the game for good.

Trina Taylor: A cheerleader that has alotta rumors following her of being a slut, though she continues to claim she’s a virgin. Just a tease. Every dude in school had been trying to bang her since her freshman year, but she eventually fell for weird ass Dwayne Carter. Captured by his charm, and outer worldly demeanor, she had already made wedding plans for them after graduation. These plans which were suppose to be her secret, were told to Dwayne by her rival, tall flag member Khia who also had a crush on the young Carter. This caused him to reconsider being in a relationship, so he eventually dumped her. Now single again, Trina claims to hold no hard feelings towards Wayne, but has been beefing with Khia ever sense.

William “Rick Ross” Roberts: After seeing “Freeway Ricky Ross” on an episode of BET’s American Gangster,Big Will Roberts was inspired by his boss like mentality. And decided told erybody in school to either call him Rick Ross or The Boss, because he feels like when he’s on that field he’s The Boss, he owns that ball, that field, that turf, and whatever player that thinks they’re getting pass his defensive line, or getting through him when he’s on offense. His girlfriend, alumni short flag team member, Inga “Foxy Brown” Marchand, is at every game cheering The Boss on as he whips it up on any team that tries to take over his field. Highly respected in school, he’s been playing Varsity since he was a freshman, and was at every game the school played since he was in middle school.

Hakeem “Chamillionaire” Seriki: Is very religious and never curses, ever. He’s on the track team, basically because he’s african and the Coach Freeman thought that because he’s African he should be able to run fast. He’s pretty good, but his main joy is studying history and playing chess. Breaking Mike Jone’s record on the track, a rivalry began that cost him a friendship with his closest friend Paul Wall, who believed Mike Jones lies that Hakeem beats up little white kids for their lunch money.

Faheem “T-Pain” Najm: Is a devoted member of the school choir, though many people doubt his singing range and ability. He doesn’t let it worry him because he’s still the one that gets all of the solos thanks to Professor Aliuane Badara Thiam. He’s also an English tutor, and all of the coaches send their struggling players to him, to get their grades up enough to stay on the team.

SENIOR CLASS

Clifford Harris: Voted most likely to become homecoming king, due to his charm,popularity and mature nature since middle school, Clifford has been calling himself the king ever since stepping on campus freshman year. He came in as a freshman, knowing that he’d become the captain of the baseball team (which he is) and homecoming king by senior year, so he nicknamed himself king early on, and it caught on throughout the entire school year after year. Homecoming king of a few years prior, Shawn Carter after meeting Clifford his junior year, even gave the young cocky dude his props, almost cementing his destiny to be the homecoming king this year. Unfortunately he faces stiff competition from Chris Bridges, Curtis Jackson, Kanye West and Dwayne Carter who also seem to be running for the honor as well. Lately he’s been getting stalked by this freshman, Carlos, whose still mad that Clifford bumped him one time in the lunch room a few years ago. He’s been trying to ignore Carlos, even though the freshman continues to spread rumors attempting to ruin his reputation at school and his relationship. Clifford has a temper, which has placed him on disciplinary probation, one more fight and he can’t walk across the stage for graduation, so he’s been trying to control himself, which has spawned even more rumors that ‘the king’ is scared of a freshman.

Christopher Bridges: President of the student council, the drama club, and valedictorian of the senior class, Chris is for the most part well liked. His freshman and sophomore years he was known as the class clown who with ludacris punchlines and jokes could roast anybody to tears, but after his father died right before junior year, he decided to get his act together, joining beacoup clubs, and stepped up as a leader among his fellow students.

He tutors elementary school students, and does whatever he can to serve his community. He’s a strong believer in ‘karma’ so he tries to not ever mess anybody over, which over time has gotten him labeled as soft by many of the other cats at school. When he first decided to run for Homecoming King, this angered the favorite, Clifford to the point that Clifford actually got in his face about it, and an argument ensued that was eventually calmed for the moment, though Clifford continued talking shit about Chris behind his back. This lil dude also ona baseball team named David, told Chris about Clifford mouthing off about him at practice, which pissed Chris off. Tired of people trying him thinking he’s soft, Chris stormed onto the baseball field during practice and snuck Clifford, dropping him off his mound. Chris then walked off, as Clifford in shock laughed the punch off, saying that Chris finally grew some balls.

Curtis ’50 Cent’Jackson: Captain of the football team but everybody loves to hate his ass, because he’s stuck up as hell, and loves to flaunt his money. If you don’t play football, he doesn’t rock with you, and he’ll let you know it by roasting you every chance he gets. He thinks that the basketball players are pussies, and shows up at every game to berate certain players, named Jayceon and Dwayne. He thinks that baseball is a waste of a sport, so he shows up at the baseball games, trying to disrupt the baseball captain Clifford,hoping he fucks up and the baseball team can lose. He does this because he wants the football team to have all the shine. He thinks every band member is a fag, and had a huge altercation with the band’s drum major, Kanye West, over these remarks. As much as people hate him, they can’t deny how good he is on the field, so they show him respect accordingly.

The only person he listens to is Coach Dre, and many times they even get into it, causing Curtis to call his own plays on the field, which usually work. Rumor has it he’s fucked every captain and co-captain of the cheerleaders, short flags, tall flagteam, and is banging the captain of the dance team, which he denies, because he doesn’t like having his business in the street, though if pushed, he’ll have the whole school knowing your shit. Just ask school newspaper reporter, Rocsi Diaz, who wrote in the paper that he had been playing sloppy lately, so in turn he started spreading rumors about different football players she’s slept with. He told the principle and his coach that if she continued bad mouthing him, he’d quit the team. Nothing has been reported since.

Jayceon “The Game” Taylor: He use to be the wide receiver on the football team, but due to many scuffles and fights with the quarterback, he decided he’d rather play basketball, though he still goes to every football game to hurl disses at Curtis for any mistake he makes on the field. So in turn, Curtis does the same to Jayceon at every basketball game.

Somebody once told him he had no game, and he replied that he is “The Game” which is where his nick name comes from. Though he’s a pretty good basketball player, he doesn’t get much love from the girls at school because he’s known for not being able to keep his mouth shut. If you fuck him, it’s going to be known by the entire school by the end of the week. With the way he makes friends, then disses them weeks later in an interview for the school paper, only to apologize the very next week, has many of his classmates feeling that he is clinically bi-polar

“Fat” Joe Cartagena: Cheats off everybody’s papers to pass tests, Fat Joe was one of those cats that kissed mad ass and tries to be everybody’s friend. Wanting to be in everyone’s circle and be so well liked, that he forgot about the clique that he was apart of, and eventually had no real friends aside from his lil lackey Khaled. He wanted to get girls by being on the football team but sucked at football, so they made him the water boy and the mascot. Most of the cats on the football team don’t really rock with him, especially the captain Curtis, who enjoys watching the fat guy run across the field to personally give him water. His only friend on the team is his homie Will “Rick Ross” Roberts, and that’s because their mothers go to church together. As a front to impress freshman girls that don’t know any better he wears his big brothers letterman

Kanye West:Drum Major, head of the band, Kanye is obsessive about music. He’s the number one band geek, who devotes all of his attention to the band. He truly feels that he’s the leader of the greatest band in the world. When he’s not doing something involving the band, he’s president of the Art club, his obsession with fashion over the years has spawned many rumors that he’s gay as fuck. Since his big brother is Shawn Carter, he got an instant pass so very few people ever try to clown him on it though. He hates to lose, and whenever the bands places second (which is rare) he is known for throwing massive hissy fits, which continues to support the rumors of him being homo. Don’t ever call him gay to his face though, because Mr. West is a tae kwon do champion that can bust your ass if you try him the wrong way. The last person to call him gay to his face was the captain of the football team, Curtis Jackson, which spawned one of the biggest and most talked about fights on campus. Some say Curtis won, many say Kanye won, thing is, no matter who won Curtis’s reputation was definitely hurt with people saying that the captain of the football team got his ass bust by soft ass Kanye. The fight gained him popularity as well as respect from everybody in the school, whether they think he’s gay or not. Kanye was last seen leading a protest against the principle and the school, over the fact that no money was sent to any of the schools in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, but when 9/11 hit, their school was the first to send aid. “Our principle, doesn’t care about black people”

Melissa “Missy” Elliot: Over the school’s fashion show, was a former dance team member but was cut because the girls on the team said she was too big, she eventually started her own dance team filled with elementary kids, and challenged the official school dance team to a dance off at the school’s talent show. Though she and her elementary kids held their own in the competition, they ended up being the losers. The dance team’s new captain Ciara, eventually invited Missy back to the team due to Missy’s skills, but many people think its because she loss so much weight while leading her own team. She’s the biggest flirt in school, and will be quick to let everyone know if you’re a minute man in bed, so you better get ur sex game together before stepping to her

Cornell “Nelly” Haynes, Jr– Nelly is the star running back on the football team, as well as the co-captain of the baseball team, and a student council member. He was dating this cheerleader named Ashanti, but eventually had to break it off with her because she was the crazy jealous type always checking his phone messages and calling him every 10 seconds.

Even though many girls love him, he tends to have a habit of fooling around with other lil dude’s girlfriends, getting a bad reputation with many of the fellas for selling them out for some pussy, but this running back could care less, because he’s all about the pussy whether the fellas feel him or not. Many of his teachers compare him to assistant coach and alumni James Todd Smith, that use to carry himself almost the same way in regards to the ladies and the dude’s perspectives towards him. Cornell would’ve graduated last year, but his history teacher Mr. Parker failed him, requiring him to take his entire senior year over just for one class.

Dwayne Carter– Is the youngest senior in the school because he got skipped a few grades, by being part of that accelerated learning program. When he was a freshman he useta kick it with this clique of sophomores but fell out with them cuz his Moms wouldn’t let him stay out late, so he started concentrating on his studies. He’s a huge nerd with ADD, but people like him because he’s funny. He doesn’t have a clique, he just hops around from circle to circle at his leisure, though he’s weird folk still rock w/ him. Especially the punk rock white boys who he occasionally rocks out with, but doesn’t plan on making a career of it.

He’s also a co-captain on the basketball team, which came out of the blue, when he first got skipped from Freshman to Junior, his Moms told him he should get into extracurricular activities cuz it’d look good ona college resume. His “Daddy” sent him to basketball camp that summer, and it turns out dude had a natural talent, which he obsessed to perfect landing him the co-captain position at the beginning of his senior year. This decision divides the team in half because some guys thinks he’s a great player, well on his way to beating the original record in points set by Shawn Carter, while others think that he’s all hype, with good shooting skills, and great handling but poor defense. Being on the basketball team got him a few dance team members, the main one being Nivea(who he just started messin w/ again), a cheerleader in Trina, a groupie (Karrine),and even a strong rumor of a fling between him and “Ms. Most Attractive” Lauren London,

aside from the rumors dude often talks about getting back with his girlfriend from middle school, that goes to a different highschool, Toya. At the last basketball game after scoring 70 points in one game, Dwayne proclaimed himself to be the best basketball player to ever grace the court, and decided to run for Homecoming King giving out free lollipops to all his supporters.

STUDENT TEACHERS

Trevor “Busta Rhymes” Smith: One of the football teams assistant coaches, he had a great reputation on the field as well. He was known for the energy he brought, as well as his fast footwork. He often times suits up with the team showing them hands on how to get the job done

Sean “Diddy” Combs: Drum Major of years past, Sean was seen as a sneaky lil dude, that kissed all of the teachers asses. Not many students trusted him because of his lying reputation, so his only friend was the much loved band member Christopher Wallace, whose crab named was Biggie. He and Biggie would make money on the side doing gigs and talent shows. Biggie would play the saxophone and Combs would dance and hype the audience up. After Biggie was expelled from school, Sean began changing his lying ways feeling that his lies got Biggie in trouble. Nowadays he’s seen on campus scouting talent to help with future gigs

Kimberly “Lil Kim” Jones: Erybody called her the school’s slut, though to herself she was just misunderstood and open about her sexuality. Up until her senior year she maintained the she was a virgin, despite all the flirting, the teasing, and the half naked outfits she’d show up in school wearing which got her many many detentions. She use to kick it with Sean, Biggie, and a few other cats, but after Biggie was expelled, they all severed ties. She dropped out of school after being suspended for lying to the principle

Nasir “Nas” Jones: Valedictorian of his class, Nas was the coordinator of the school’s black history program, and still comes back from time to time to make sure that black history is still a focal part of the school curriculum, sending all of his alumni money towards that department. His reputation is in place as being the only person to beat record breaker, Shawn Carter in a one on one game of basketball. Everyone at the time thought he was a nerd with no skills, but he shocked the school and Shawn by being an extremely good player, that refused to join the team, because that wasn’t “his thing”. Nas, though valedictorian, didn’t show up for graduation, in protest of the principle’s racist ways. “I aint shaking no racists nigga’s hand, for no piece of paper”

Marshall “Eminem” Mathers: Was known as the coolest white boy in the school, when he attended. He was a transfer student, handpicked by Coach Dre to play quarterback for the team. At his previous school he was picked on alot, but though those stories followed him to his new school for a minute, he over came them by winning game after game for his new home team. Marshall personally picked Curtis to be his replacement as quarterback, seeing alot of promise in young Jackson’s ability. He was also known as “that guy that hates his Mom’ because every day he’d talk about how much of a bitch she always is, whenever anyone would chime in talking about their Moms jokingly, Marshall’s face would stay stone cold serious when the subject of mothers came up, he loved when people told him Yo Mama jokes. He was eventually kicked out of his house by his moms following graduation, so he’d often sneak in his girlfriend Kim’s house to sleep. He and Kim were prom king and queen, but fucked up the entire prom that year by having a fist fight on stage after receiving their crowns.

Dennis ‘Ghostface’ Coles: Dennis was one of the debate team’s key members (along with Gary, Jason, Elgin, Clifford S, Russell, Corey, Robert and Lamont), the debate team won most of their matches by not only out debating the other teams, but also arguing in a lingo that only the most intelligent judges could comprehend, so those judges gave them high scores, while dumber judges who didn’t understand them, gave them high scores as well due to the fact that if he didn’t get what they were saying, it must obviously be something of note. Dennis was the flashiest of the crew, and also scored the most points for them in debate matches, causing many to feel that he was becoming big headed. Big headed or not, the stats never lie, Dennis was the star of the show. Pass the debate team, Dennis was known for his advice column on the school newspaper. He was committed to being as outspoken as possible and brutally honest to anybody that wrote to him. In his past time he and the debate team often find themselves watching old kung fu movies, and collecting comic books, preferably Iron Man.

Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter: Star basketball player holding the record in points anytime he touched the “roc”. Was the most popular cat in school when he attended, former homecoming king, he ran the school. Notoriously known for his penchant for younger girls, he was probably the only person never called on it. He still comes to the school from time to time just to show off his jump shot, and to visit his girlfriend cheerleader captain, and homecoming queen front runner, Beyonce Knowles. He’s helped Dwayne with his shot, Chris with his college recommendations, and Clifford with advice on how to really clench that Homecoming King victory, even though his little brother Kanye gets the bulk of his support in this area. He is widely respected throughout the school to this day, as the shadow of his record and reputation looms higher every year.

Antwan ‘Big Boi’ Patton: Former head saxophonist, and chief contributer to the music division, he was also the school hustler, waay before Souljah Boy. He was a beloved student, that held a secret passion for ballet, nobody called him on it though because homie had hands. He and Andre won placed first in every talent show, because of their unique blends of music and poetry.

Andre ‘3000’ Benjamin: Was the school’s residential poet, that dabbled in music from time to time, but stayed to himself. His only friend was Antwan Patton, and they never talked at school, only over the phone and through text messages, because Andre loved staying to himself in his own world. The cool artsy weirdo, that got girls because most of em though he was “deep” and rumors spread that he named his penis the “Love Below”. He took pride in his highschool portfolio which held 1500 original poems and 1500 original paintings, culminating his final project to be what he called the “Art of 3000”

Cordozar Calvin “Snoop Dogg” Broadus Jr.: Was the PIMP of the school, and anybody that called him “Cordozar” got their asses whooped. He went by Snoop and was that cool laid back cat, that no nigga tried to fuck over, and every girl was charmed by. He wasn’t part of any sports teams, but had a passion for golf in his past time. He was the school’s weed man, and with Reggie Noble and Clifford Smith, they kept the school and teachers high as hell, but don’t tell nobody though

ALUMNI

Brad “Scarface” Jordon: Football coach

Rakim Allah: Art teacher

Nathaniel “Kool G Rap” Wilson: Philosophy teacher

Black Thought: Guidance Counselor

Immortal Technique: Head of the school newspaper

Robert Kelly: Girls JV track coach, JV volleyball coach and JV softball coach

Slick Rick Walters: English Teacher

Doug E. “Fresh” Davis: Music teacher

Dante “Mos Def” Smith: Drama teacher

Will Smith: Head of the drama department

Antonio “Big Daddy Kane” Hardy: Basketball Coach

Tracy “Ice T” Marrow: P. E teacher

James Todd Smith: Offensive Coordinator for the football team

Dead Prez: 9th Grade history teachers

O’Shea “Ice Cube” Jackson: Football Coach

Dr. AnDre Young: Football Coach

Bernard “Bun B” Freeman: Baseball coach

Lawrence “KRS ONE” Parker: upperclass History Teacher

Carlton “Chuck D” Ridenhour: Vice Principle

William “Flava Flav” Drayton:Guidance Counselor

DROP OUTS

Earl “DMX” Simmons– Star football player and wrestler, he was suspended his senior year and never returned

Jeffrey “Ja Rule” Atkins– Dropped out Senior Year after Curtis Jackson kicked him off the football team

Carl “Twista” Mitchell– Dropped out junior year, former star of the track team

Shawn Mims– Dropped out first semester freshman year

Shop Boyz– Dropped out freshman year

Terius ‘Juvenile’ Gray– Dropped out Junior year

Stayve “Slim Thug” Thomas– Dropped out sophomore year

Paul “Wall” Manry– Dropped out sophomore year

Mike Jones– Dropped out sophomore year

Camron Giles– Dropped out senior year,kicked out of his clique and dropped outta school

Brian Saigon Carenod– Dropped out at registration…is trying to register for college

As always this was just my $0.02 towards life’s $0.98

BATS, the ACE among kings

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  1. Very Nice Information ….

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  2. Read the whole thing. Very entertaining.

  3. Ok… I am very late in reading this but I loved every bit of it.

  4. lol.. i cant believe i read all of this.. it was cool though.. and u kept the story tight!! **i wish i had more hands so i cud give it 4 thumbs up*LOL!!!!

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