Well today I was planning on having a new Op-Ed up, but this Gotham News stuff isn’t as easy at it looks…fareal, it’s not an excuse it’s…wait, yes it is…fuck it…you got me…it was an excuse, awwww shiit nah….Well in exchange for my excuse I’m delivering one of my closest friends to take my place…her name is Jo’Joker…and no her stage name having Joker in it has nothing to do with anything Batman, just an ironic coincidence…gotta luv em…
Anyway, if you read the About Me section you’ll know that I started this site to get not only my ideas and feelings out to the world, but also as a spring board for other young cats like me to do so as well, ala the reason why I have a Featured Writer’s section, not enough of us write (we all love to talk shit though), so I encourage that shit. In keeping with this, I’m planning to induct three new categories onto the site. The Angry Man’s Chronicles, DJ Jay Skillz’Maze of the Mind and this one Jo’Joker’s Reality. These new categories will be specific Op-Ed’s regularly updated by The Angry Man, DJ Jay Skillz and Jo’Joker respectively (BEAUTIFUL L, HOLLA AT ME). Now Jo has already let me know not to expect one from her every week, but she’s gonna try…I think we just like Jo’Joker’s Reality as a name for a coulmn…
But yah, show my homie, my nigga, my girl Jo some love ppl…
JO’JOKER’S REALITY by. Jo’Joker
Well I’m writing a blog for my boy Bats, and I don’t want any of those super political women to get mad at me for making my first post about men, but after reading his last Featured Writer’s take on men and relationships it got my brain going, so me and Bats got to talking about different topics and eventually I worked up the nerve to write some of my ideas and put them out for you to see, be warned I’m random.
There is definitely a difference between women’s mind states in relationships and men’s
and I am not in denial about what it is. Women are too clingy. We too often look for more emotional connections, for the one for a husband, while the man is just after the physical. That’s the problem with a lot of us females, we get too emotionally attached to niggas, period. Whether we’re in relationships ( personally I think the relationship thing is over rated) with the guys or if it’s somebody we’re just fucking, we tend to act as if the boy owes us something just because we had sex with him, or just because he spent some money.
Ladies, never feel like you owe him anything, ever. If that nigga wanted to throw his money away that was on him, and if you wanted to have sex with the boy that’s on you, but blaming the entire male race for you making a decision that you regret is crazy, and super clingy. Why should we be clingy when the man chases us, recognize your power ladies.
Life is short if you’re into the being super paranoid in relationships and giving men all of the power that is on you, but it’s hard enough for me to see how anybody would want to sit around and look at the same ole mofo all the time, so I pull my hair out trying to understand women that settle with a life of wondering if that same mofo is cheating on them again and again and letting this take control of their lives, especially if he isn’t even ya man.
Niggas wanna connect with the cute big booty or big breasted bitch that make your size B cup look like an A. Females you know you get mad and jealous when u see that your mans “friend” looks better than you and that’s why yall blow the situation out of proportion(suck that shit up). I don’t let it worry me, at least the bitch was cute, that’s how I feel cuz I know I’ll be pissed off if I catch my man cheating on me with a bitch that look like she came from the morgue somewhere. If u think its something other than a physical connection females, maybe your jus not handling your business with your man. Every man needs eye candy every once in a while especially if your not communicating and being open as well as open minded towards your man.
Female society always describes male unfaithful behavior as being doggish, but to a certain extent, men are men. Studies show that men have a stronger biological urge to desire sex more than us, which means u cant stop it. No matter how much u fuck ur man, no matter how long yall been in a relationship, no matter the connection u have, u cant stop a mans genetic desire to want more than one woman.
Honestly, I feel that men are always being stereotyped for a behavior that’s not very well understood. Males have been stereotyped for centuries as being cheaters, heart breakers, and dogs when really they should just be seen as males. Some males are better than others at fighting these urges til they die, many others give in to the urges. When we’re with a man we’re hoping that he is one of the strong ones, while never preparing ourselves for what if he isn’t. And if he isn’t one of the strong ones will you love him any less? Everybody couple’s situation and commitment level is different. But for me personally, I basically expect a man to be a man, nothing more or less, so if he cheats, I’m not surprised, I’m not going to deal with the shit, but that’s me and that is also why I think relationships are overrated. If you got a dog, you got a dog, if you choose to stay with the dog learn how to bark with the dogs without getting bitten, if you’re afraid to get bitten, I advise looking for bitchier men.
Women aren’t perfect…
I’m a realist and being a real woman I feel that there are too many females acting as if they own a personal halo , if they do its prolly ran by batteries. When the topic of cheating is under discussion, we are always only referring to men. How I know? Because I’m a female and when I talk about cheating, I’m never talking about how down bad my friend was to what’s his name. Straight up, I’m speaking to all the women in denial about the truth.
Too many females mess it up for the males that actually want to fight their natural urges and settle down, because bitches have the tendency to spread the word about niggas they use to deal with that cheated on them without giving the full story, there‘s two sides to every story, Every Story. And while I‘ll admit that I‘ve been fucked over countless times by niggas, I‘ve also got quite a bit of dirt and blood on my hands from “playing the game“ on guys that I‘ll admit didn‘t always deserve it and I‘m a real woman, I can admit that. But there aren‘t enough real women that are ready to step up and take responsibility so these incidents with cheating men get blown up into ghost stories, while the stories of the “bad girls“ just end up disappearing. Keep it real with yourselves ladies, you aren’t perfect either
Grow some balls (Ladies)…
When a female first meets a guy she already thinking about 3 things: 1. All he want is sex, 2. I can’t trust him, 3. He gonna cheat on me (you fucking up). Females are also taught not to kiss or have sex on the first date because the nigga wont respect you after that, or you don’t wanna come off easy. That goes by the way you carry yourself. If you just throwing the pussy at him, 9x out of 10, you are gonna come off easy, or stupid…which to them means easy anyway.
Parents be fucking shit up too cuz by telling their daughters never to kiss or have sex they are acknowledging the males sexual needs as if he‘s something to be feared and respected in a way, without acknowledging that we have needs to. So the girl starts believing that her needs make her a hoe, and end up letting that build until she runs into that nigga that she‘s gon be dumb for (and there‘s always that one) and instead of having a healthy grip on how to control these need’s, the girl falls for him, he drops her and she never gets back up, some hate men forever while other girls just hoe out. This gives women and men a bad name. A parent is suppose to teach their daughter, get her to feel comfortable about her body and her urges, so she won’t let her a man or her vagina run her, her brain will always be the decision maker. And when you’re in control, and not your emotions you can always make the decisions you want to make, but remember that means the only person you can blame for whatever decisions you make is You.
Now looking at things in a way where you make your own decisions, and not just following what your parents told you to do just because, I want to tackle the concept of putting a time limit on sex. Why force yourself to make a nigga wait months for sex if you know you really want to do it, within those months you’ve set to wait it out, u eventually start creating feelings for them without realizing it, and then what happens if the sex be whack when u finally give it to him. That would piss me clean the fuck off seriously. I made him wait all this while and he give me this, this NONSENSE. Fuck that. There’s nothing wrong with fucking on the first date but at the same time don’t be stupid. With all this talk about women’s intuition, it’s on you who you pick to spend your time with and in turn sleep with. There are some dumb ass females out there but I personally wasn’t born with that trait, for the females who were, sucks for you, and maybe you shouldn‘t be reading this because you‘re going to get yourselves hurt. But for the women who have a handle on themselves, if a nigga is being very persuasive about sex, it’s your choice (not society and not your parents) whether to do it or not, if the shit just happens, you want it and he wants it to, why wait? Ladies, grow some balls, don’t let him dictate how the relationship will go all the time, if you just want his dick, get his dick and let him go. And I want to point out that I am directing this to the women that trust their minds enough to know that I’m not saying to be loose and slutty, I’m just saying that putting a time limit on sex is pointless if you plan to do him anyway. It’s not about when you do it, it’s understanding who you’re doing it with, and if it’s worth it to YOU, no one else.
Believe this though, if you don’t train him to put work in for what he wants early on, don’t expect him to work for anything ever later on.
No matter how much you try to argue the facts of why men cheat, you cant resolve them. Cheating is uncontrollable, everybody’s doing it, even the presidents (you know who you are). By making a big issue about it, your just widening the gap between the sexes. This is a common reason why women live in fear and get suspicious of her man cheating, whether he’s cheating or not. I’m probably gonna get hated for saying this but females, its not the fact that your man is cheating, its learning to understand your man, he‘s your man, if your man is someone who can‘t just settle with one woman, and that‘s who you want to be with for whatever reason, you need to understand how he thinks and behaves. ( accept that shit or else your gonna hurt yourself or turn gay. Lol! )( no offense to gay people)).
Many men think their only line of defense is to be dishonest (unless the man is being totally 100% with you). Females think about it, if you go up to your man and just ask him if he’s cheating on you, he’s gonna tell you ‘no‘. So why ask?. If you’re going to stick it out with this man, and we can’t be in denial and act as if there aren’t females sticking it out with men like, just learn to accept some things you don’t know wont hurt you. The reason why he is gonna say ‘no’ is out of fear. Fear of a big ass argument, fear of losing you cuz he actually has feelings for you, or fear of you going to bitch mode. Every man hates when a female goes in bitch mode. On that note, a man has to deal with deceiving himself about his biological need for sex and to lie to the female he cares about because some females ironically want a relationship that’s based on honesty. Personally I think everybody lies so don’t count on being in a relationship that’s based on complete honesty, that‘s just not human. When u ask your man is he cheating on you, you are putting forth a screwed up challenge with a double edged question. (Honestly it goes both ways, but we’re talking about men right now)
To keep bullshit out of the relationship a man convinces his number one that she is the only person he will be having sex with. But in reality there’s few (young) men that are really just interested in one person and one sexual desire. If he does, it only last the first six months of the relationship because his penis becomes stronger than his words. Why you think men visit the strip club, get involved in extra- martial affairs, watch porn or live out his fantasies in his mind while he makes love to you? Because he got sexual desires that need to be met. That’s just how he’s built (some ladies are too, most aren’t), if I’m being sexist so be it.
I know yall thinking that genetics isn’t a good a excuse for why men cheat, and it isn’t, because cheating is a choice, but I’m saying that the urge is genetic and no amount of vows, serious relationships or promises will stop an urge. Accept that your man will have these urges, understand who your man is, decide whether you are going to stay with him or not and work it out from there, that is how to be progressive, bitching about it won’t solve anything.
DUCES (In closing)
You get married to get divorced, you get in relationships to break up, and promises are meant to be broken so fuck, let’s stop wasting our time stressing over what can’t be readily fixed, and let’s start embracing our responsibilities, our insecurities, and our power, because women, we do have the power, and it may seem like I went easy on the men this time, but best believe I’ve got more to come, because I know that the day we realize how powerful we really are, is the day that the tears stop…for us anyway